THE NON-STEP PROGRAM
(Living the Questions by Committing to the Process of Your Life)
“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”
― Rainer Maria Rilke
I have discovered that most of life does not give you solutions, answers, steps, or formulas. Do 1, 2, 3; and, you will be happy, thinner, richer, or more beautiful. Quite a few books, websites, and articles tell you how to get from A to D via steps, methods, secrets, codes, and more. Sure, some of these books, articles, and websites can and do help some people. Much of the change is not necessarily lasting. Then many of us, as individuals, seek another book or method to gain or lose whatever is needed at the moment.
Early on, I discovered that I sabotaged myself as I use these various methods and steps. They did not work for me. I learned that I changed in the process of therapy. My changes became apparent in the process of prayer and meditation. The changes became clear as I lived each day (sometimes unaware that I was actively altering and changed).
As an abuse and torture survivor, I needed to lead my healing process and my transition from victim to survivor to a person who thrives. Oh, I took guidance, and still do, from a few trusted individuals. I’ve read that survivors need to have power and control over their own lives after being controlled as an abused child, an adult in a domestic violence situation, and/or a ritual abuse and torture situation. It is important to feel empowered, to sense that each individual survivor is reaching inward to gain the strength to move forward in that person’s own way. As victims, we were belittled and emotionally torn down bit by bit. To once again become a free individual (or maybe even be free for the first time), it is necessary to make our own mistakes and successes in order to discover our true selves.
As a life coach for survivors of abuse and/or torture, my coaching style revolves around process – your process. I do not have a linear, step-by-step method. Truly, each one of us is unique with many similarities. I, as your individual life coach, will listen, guide, encourage and coach based on your needs, goals, values, and desires. In fact, I shall help you uncover the aforementioned.
Yes, I shall coach you from where you are now (A) to where you want to be in the future (D)! We shall travel together using the process of trial and error, inner reflection, and more. It will be exciting, vibrant, and quite challenging!
Think of it …. Stop, for a moment, and close your eyes. Breathe. Relax. Think ….
Who are you – the unique you? How well do you know yourself at this point in time? Do you see the victim self? Do you see the discouraged or despairing self? Can you see the goodness and the faults within you? No one is perfect!
Now imagine … Can you envision the possibilities of your life? How excited are you to live in the questions?
Sit with yourself. Just breathe. Feel your body. Sense your spirit. Let the thoughts come and go floating away. Breathe again. Now, if you are ready, open your eyes.
That is a glance of what it might be like for you as you find your genuine self and to be that authentic self. We have to get past the darkness the abuse caused. After or even during the therapy period, we clear up most of the outside muck, the past abusive times, and the aftermath the perpetrators caused. Now what? That is a question that is raised within many of us who have healed to a certain extent. Now what? How do I move forward? I want more. I am worthy of more (or I’m hesitantly sensing I am worthy of a good life). I want friendships, relationships, connections, materials good, spiritual needs met, and more.
Looking inside and finally seeing, acknowledging, and accepting the goodness inside of myself brought me a sense of peace and joy that had never truly existed on a level that deep and life-changing until that point. I can support you as you journey to find who you are and who you want to be in the future. I do not have many answers. I live the questions daily. Life, as the Buddhists remind us, is impermanent. Uncertainty and change are a part of all of our lives as humans. Each day is a day to move forward. I know. Day by day, I traversed; and, now here I am! I’m further along than I might have imagined. Life is not exactly what I dreamed; and, yet, it is good.
You are ready to move forward if:
- You show up!
- You commit to yourself as well as to coaching.
- You are ready to explore.
- You keep an open-mind.
- You have a deep inner desire to be who you really are
- You are ready to experience freedom, peace and joy!
What will I, as your coach, provide for you? Some items will include those listed below:
- A safe place.
- An open heart and non-judgmental mind
- Inspirational examples from my own personal journey
- Activities and support to help you identify your personal goals and achieve them.
- Methods and ways to discern your own personal values.
- Encouragement to live by those values in all aspects of your life
- Listening skills – the ability and desire to hear you, to understand you, to acknowledge you on your journey.
- A free haven where you can examine what’s important to you in all areas of your life including, but not limited to, health, spirituality (if you would like), physical, relationships, and career.
- Genuineness and compassion as we work together coupled with a strong desire to see you progress to your successes
I am not a psychotherapist; and, this is not insight-based therapy. My coaching is for the mentally healthy individual who wants to thrive. The focus will be on the present as well as defining and reaching goals for a more rewarding future. I do not offer any promises as to your future achievements. You, as a client, will take responsibility for all results and your achievements. This self-responsibility empowers you; therefore, you will hopefully gain a deeper sense of positive self-regard. We will work in partnership.
Due to the fact that I am a survivor of childhood abuse, clergy abuse, domestic violence, deviant religious practices (ritual abuse), and torture, I will be able to individualize my coaching style according to your past history, your present needs, and your future aspirations. I’ve been there.
Are you ready?
© 2015, Gail E. Mulczynski