RESIDUE of ANGER
Recently a residue of anger entered my world for a short time period. This anger was toward the institutional systems that years ago separated my daughter, Megan, from me and placed her with the abuser, her father. This misuse of institutional power is a much more common situation than most people realize. Although I have covered this issue in therapy, in my personal relationship with God, and in my daily life – the outrage and frustration reappeared.
It took me more time than I would have liked for me to recognize the signs of the indignation. For whatever reasons, I tend to take anger out on myself via not the best self care or eating habits. As soon as I recognized the residue of anger, all became clear. Wow, here I was once again quite mad at institutions and the people involved. I let myself sit in it for a relatively short time. Actually once I acknowledged the indignation; it became unnecessary to sit in it for long. I knew grief was underneath the anger. Deep sadness for the years lost for Megan and I as mother and daughter still exists. The trauma to Megan and I caused by that separation cannot be easily repaired. Those years cannot be replaced. That statement alone causes my heart strings to pull – the intense sadness has not left. It may never fully leave.
After recognizing and acknowledging my anger, allowing myself to sit in it for a short time, I then released it again. Releasing both the anger and grief once again brought lightness to my being.
(For most survivors, dealing with the anger and grief is a necessary part of the healing process. If you have not addressed the anger and grief in therapy, counseling, or in another helpful manner, I do not recommend the below ideas for you. Please seek out the support you need.)
My recommendations to relieve the residue of anger are:
Recognize and acknowledge your anger.
Sit in it for a short time. I reminded myself that I have been there, done that. It was amazing to me how short-lived my residue of anger was once I acknowledged it. I did not find it necessary to stay in indignation and grief for long. Remind yourself you have dealt with it already. Your life today needs to be lived.
Release the indignation, the anger, the rage again! Let it go. LIVE TODAY!
It is very important to face the past and to heal. First, the truth of the past trauma and abuse needs to be faced in a healing fashion. Then let the past be past.
Your life today is where you change.