Christmas Wish List




When I was a child, I would write a Christmas wish list. This list would include gifts I wanted Santa to bring me. My mother would order most gifts from catalogs which provided fodder for a child to dream which presents she would prefer. The majority of the gifts under the tree were clothes items that were definitely needed. I do not remember many of my childhood presents that were not clothes. Chatty Cathy was a gift one year, as well as Lite Brite. My heartfelt wishes though were to be loved, cherished, and protected by my mother and others in the household (and outside of it). Unfortunately, abuse continued year after year; and, I would end up with a demeaning, abusive marriage that lasted for decades. This marriage included decades of domestic violence, extreme abuse, human trafficking, and no everlasting real love. Fortunately, I am free from abusive relationships and situations. I am on the road of freedom which includes the gifts of peace and joy.

Today I found myself writing a Christmas wish list. Whether Christmas is a religious holiday to you or a secular one or nothing to you, thinking of a wish list for humanity might be an experiment for you. My Christmas wish list is not in any order. It is from my heart. There is no way for me to write a complete Christmas wish list. I found that the more I wrote the more desires I had for others and our global society. If you want, stop now. Do not read any further – yet.  Find a quiet moment. Take a piece of paper and a pen. Sit. Breathe. What do you wish?

Oh, there are no quick fixes. Yet, sometimes naming a desire helps us to work toward that wish. Sometimes all we can do is hold our dreams for others and ourselves in our hearts. Sometimes prayers and/or sending positive energy to others are choices (for the spiritual-mind among us). Sometimes the smallest kindnesses in action and/or with word can slowly make a difference whether we know it or not.

Here is my Christmas wish list:

May the survivors (out of abusive relationships and those in abusive relationships now) release the shame they may feel. May all survivors and especially the extreme abuse survivors (ritual abuse, torture) realize that they are not evil or extremely bad. May each survivor realize “it was none of your fault”.

May perpetrators awaken and step away from performing evil deeds. May intergenerational abuse stop.

May those who have no one to pray for them or to send them positive energy or to comfort them be remembered this Christmas.

May bitterness and hardness of heart melt.

May children of trauma survivors and/or children of perpetrators lead healthier lives than their parents.

May those suffering from PTSD be free from reliving and/or reenacting. May these trauma survivors find methods of healing.

May trauma survivors who are functional (even extremely functional) and yet numb be given the gift of healing, the gift of strength, and the gift of courage to face and to walk through the PAIN of their past to the PEACE, FREEDOM, and JOY of the present.

May the disbelievers’ eyes and hearts be open to the reality of the abuse and trauma in our society. May human beings learn that non-state torture (torture used on loved ones and others in their own homes and other locations) is real and not an occasional occurrence. (See

May those seeking spiritual healing and spiritual depth find the spiritual love needed.

May the psychological captives experience a word, a sound, a song, a person’s hug, or a gentle, safe touch, or any one thing that brings comfort, awareness, inner strength and inner courage. May the psychological captives in domestic violence situations, extreme abuse situations, and/or abusive parent-child dynamics, truly realize that freedom can be theirs. May they find the resources they need (human, spiritual, and material) to leave the abuser, to do the healing work, and to rebuild their lives.

May women in domestic violence shelters not see themselves as failures and helpless, but as courageous and self-loving.

May children in domestic violence shelters with a parent witness the parent’s courage, strength, and love. May these children go on to have lives free from all abuse.

May children separated from a parent unjustly live to see justice occur, to heal, and to truly reunite in truth with the separated parent.

May protective parents and their children cherish their time together.

May therapists, life coaches, shelter staff, friends, and all supporters of survivors of trauma treat survivors with dignity and respect.

May those who listen with an open heart and mind to survivors’ stories take gentle care of themselves. The listener’s role is precious and priceless especially at certain healing points in a survivor’s life. It is not easy to listen to another’s PAIN.

May the persons who have experienced clergy abuse in any religion heal spiritually as well as physically, emotionally, and mentally.

May those people in power and in those institutions of power open their eyes and hearts to awaken to the reality of our society regarding children being abused and to the dilemmas of the protective parents.

May the people who are wise, honest and who do act with integrity in their positions of authority continue to shine light on unjust individuals in power and inept systems.

May those who need to receive support from others (and not always be able to pay a monetary fee for that support) realize that givers need receivers. A wise father of a friend once shared that point with me when I was feeling bad because I could not afford to pay for his adult daughter to watch my young daughter, Megan Ellen, when I worked.

May the aging and the ill find contentment and peace despite their struggles.

May all human beings, whether due to addictions, abuse, unemployment, illness, natural disasters, or other causes, achieve success rebuilding their lives. May they persevere and show resiliency.

May those who have received much reach out to those in need – in simple tiny ways (such as a smile, a knowing loving look) and in whatever ways our hearts lead us.

May we, as a society, help uplift others.

May all of us – one and all – travel the road of freedom, peace and joy – together – in unity and in love!